Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
