im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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