5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
