the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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