garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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