He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize