All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
