if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
