I could make wine with my vomit
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
