please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
