I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
