I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
