well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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