You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
