I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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