could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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