he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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