people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize