at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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