Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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