I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
