Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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