I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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