So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
