I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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