I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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