wrigley field is MILF paradise
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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