Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
