I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
