i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize