You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
