The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
