Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
