Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
