it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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