you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
