I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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