I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
