if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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