You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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