Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
