Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
whose parrot is this?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
