Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
