We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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