The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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