I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
