I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
