woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
