I must be too annoying 4 u.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
