apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
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I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
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I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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