the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
