youre lurking in front of me
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
