We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
