Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
