Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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