Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
