He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
