He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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