PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
