matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Someone signed my nipple.
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