so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
