you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
