Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
