I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
