no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it glows. i had to have it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
