I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
